Posts Tagged ‘kids’

I have been a slacker mom these days! It feels awful to be a bad mom, I mean the one role I really cherish and thank God everyday for, if I cant keep up this role, what am I doing really?? have no clue really.. Anyway it is all due to the work pressure and also the sudden fitness rage I am in, so the evenings when I spend time with the kids are spent at the fitness center with the kids either at the pool or at the Kids daycare.ย  All this is however just my ramblings, my happy kids are not bothered by my absences and are busy in their own way. In fact it makes me wonder if parenting is overrated and as long as the basic needs are met, the kids just grow on their own and build their own personalities with no interference from either parents. ๐Ÿ™‚ A point worth pondering for a later day…

A is getting to be more and more independent and is even showing signs of being ready for potty training but it is me who is not taking the initiative to support him!! He is getting to be such a stickler for routines, and doesn’t want them upset in any way. He even has the order in which I should dress him for outside, the jacket first, then the gloves, that too right hand followed by left and then the cap. If I change any of this, he protests! ๐Ÿ™‚ And the minute he comes home, he goes to the closet to change from his outside clothes. In many ways he is so much like my DH and so we have S who is like me not that organized and A like V, totally freaking out with changes to routines

Some day last week, S was ready for school a full 10 minutes early and I thought why not comb her hair! Yes, S just leaves her hair down and claims that she does comb but it never looks like that. But I don’t bother much as anyway with her cap or the hoodie on, it would get ruffled anyway. S got a set of very cute small crab clips from my SIL, so I was just parting her hair in small bunches and used the crab clips generously! It looked quite cute and she was like awww it is so nice Amma. She then said, since it suited her very well, it would suit her daughter as well, so was wondering if I could save those clips for her and pass them to her when she has her daughter and she also wanted me to teach her to do that as well so she can repeat this to her daughter! I was like you just turned 7 Maam! But the best is yet to come, she stopped her talk for a moment and said she had the most brilliant idea ever. And that brilliant idea was to have me born as her daughter in my next life so she doesn’t have to even talk about me and I would know all about me and S when she was my daughter. I had nothing more to add and thankfully the conversation ended as she had to leave then to catch the school bus.

A has his own laptop, a hand-me-down from my DH.. He watches his favorite videos on the laptop, and gets very upset when the laptop hangs up on him!! The other day the system crashed, he was pointing his finger at the laptop and shouted, ‘BAD JOBBB’. It was so cute to watch him do that.. Hez getting very vocal and expressive and very cutely chants ‘Momma Momma’ when I get down from the car say for a quick errand, and keeps chanting much to S and my DH’s dismay, till I get back! At times, A would say “YES” when I ask him if he is ready for lunch, and when he ends up seeing ‘the lunch’ and realizes he really doesn’t want it, would start shouting “No YES Amma” repeatedly!! ๐Ÿ™‚

S’s seriously into writing in her diary daily these days and makes such a fuss even if one of us get near it by mistake. But the other day she graciously gave me and my DH one-day passes to look into her diary. The pass even had an expiration date and what to do if it gets misplaced! ๐Ÿ™‚ She is reading this Wonders of the World book and is totally hooked onto the Mount Everest and she told me she was going to write a ‘biography’ on the Mount Everest! She is also working on her own dictionary, writing all the new words she is learning cataloged into her notebook as in a dictionary.

S is in the girl scouts and understandably the last few weeks were busy for us with all the cookie-selling. She acted like totally an ambassador for girl scouts and were even coaxing people who said they already had bought from some other girl, she was quick to add, that girl scout cookies were good to be frozen and can be had even 6 months later! She was also addressing the nut allergic, calorie conscious crowd as well.ย  She started selling the cookies around Valentine’s day and was trying to convince people that the cookies would make good Valentine day gift to friends and family! It was really funny watching her achieve her sales goal..

Last week, I had been to her school to meet her teacher for the II semester assessment. S was preparing me the whole day and wanted to know what would I discuss with the teacher. She was also giving offhand remarks about the reflections they do at school when someone does a bad job and she said her teacher may bring that up! I never knew she had reflections till then, so asked her what hers would be about, she was like nothing significant amma just a couple of times when I was chitchatting during activity and stuff like that. She also suggested to me that she will ask her teacher to add a goal for her to not exceed 10 reflections this year she already has 6 and that leaves only 4 more for the rest of the year. She was quite upset later in the evening, when she realized her teacher had not planned to bring about her reflections at all as they were quite minor. She felt she jumped guns unnecessarily!ย  Her teacher and I had quite a laugh about it!

S’s teacher was showcasing to me all that had been worked upon that semester and she showed me a chart with S’s essay on what all she would do if she is elected to be the President. Her teacher pointed out how sensible her points were starting from giving homes to homeless people, and writing laws about not allowing anyone to use swear words ever.ย  She did have a bullet point about building her own ‘WHITE HOUSE’ though!! Then came the most surprising part, looks like all kids had a draft notice first before redoing it in the chart paper. She showed her draft from her journal at school and her draft of things she would do when she becomes the President ran to FOUR whole A4 size sheets! ๐Ÿ™‚ย  Both her teacher and I were surprised!! I heard for the second time now from her II grade teacher that S does have ‘President’ material and she may become one in India or here in the US! ๐Ÿ™‚ The first time I heard someone tell me S would one day be the President of India was her daycare teacher when she was 3 yrs old; when I laughed at her teacher’s suggestion, her day care teacher ended our Parent-Teacher conference by saying a prayer to God to help us – S’s parents, recognize the potential in S. ๐Ÿ™‚

We went to A’s daycare for his conference as well last week and that was quite interesting too! The teacher said he is really getting ready to play with other kids, but he is so sophisticated than other kids in the sense that when the kids fight, he moves away, doesn’t want to get messy even during the MESSY play time! The minute his hands become dirty with paint or play dough, he immediately asks the teacher to wash his hands and then all he does is watch others like a big man! His teacher also said, he is so hung up on routines and will wait for his hands to be washed right after his meal and also wait for his teacher to wash her hands! He never forgets a thing and makes sure he brings home anything that he has taken to school that morning. And here his sister S even forgot to bring her school bag from school the other day! ๐Ÿ™‚ It is funny to watch such contrast in them! I guess God just wanted our lives to be interesting all the time, making them both out of entirely different molds!

My in-laws are here with us and both the kids are having lots of fun with them! There is nothing like the pampering you receive from grand parents and they are now enjoying all the extra attention!!

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S and A play together a lot these days and A is such a copy cat and tends to do all that S does and even occasionally wear S’s necklaces! I wonder if I can encourage all this cross dressing.. ๐Ÿ™‚ But I guess he will learn on his own and stay away later… Seems too premature to stop him from all the innocent enjoyment…ย  We got S so many stuffed toys when she was growing up, but she wouldn’t play with them much. But A is forever cuddling Mickey mouse, Minnie mouse and Goofy. He cutely holds them to his chest and carries them over to the bed, for his naptime these days. The royal treatment given to CARS has been transferred to the Mickey family now.. ๐Ÿ™‚

A is totally into Ice age Scrat, and in the last few weeks would have watched the three parts at least three times! ย  He even seems to follow the story a little bit to our amazement, and his sister also keep narrating the story to him. There is this scene in the Dinosaur part where Sid would mistake an Ox for a cow and try getting milk forย  the dinosaur babies. In a minute, he would be running away shouting “I thought you were a female!” S was ‘explaining’ this scene to A and he laughed as if he understood! It is like he doesn’t want to disappoint S, so he plays along with her all the time. I really wish they grow up sharing this special bond always.

As much as S still complains to me about my singular attention to A, she truly is excited when A says new words.. Like the other day we were watching an old video of S and it was her first birthday party, immediately A started singing cutely ‘APPY BDAY TOUU’ย  all in one word. We never knew till that moment he had learnt that. He seems to pick up a lot from his daycare and we learn it in moments like this. S was so excited that she gave a huge hug to him and was telling him she is SO proud of him!!! A was beaming with joy and kept repeating it to get the same attention from her. Those are moments I wish I could freeze forever in my memory.

A’s vocab – at least those we know as of now that he can say :

1. I wan Sheeseee – He says waiting near the Fridge holding a cup and spoon he would take from the dishwasher. Cottage cheese still tops his fav food list, in fact fills the later positions too!ย  ๐Ÿ™‚

2. I wan waterrr – He says waterrr with a twist in the R thats so cute and he asks water not for drinking but to

  • either wash his hot wheels car or choo choo train
  • put his bourbon biscuit in and mash it to a gooey and use it to color his toys
  • clean our table, laptops if he can, and then ask for tishu (tissue) to clean them up.

3. Go ouside He takes our hand and leads us to the main door and says “Go ousidee”. If our shoes are outside the closet, he would bring them to us and say “Go ouside” . He is really an outdoorsy person, hates to come back home after shopping trips. He would not even care about his meals when we are out, he can skip meals, naps, anything to be out with us. S used to be like that too; somehow I am blessed with two kids who don’t get cranky even if I change their schedule upside down.

4. Santa Santa, Ho Ho Ho – Holiday time of the year and A now knows the lovable Santa and cutely repeats “Santa Santa, Ho Ho Ho” ,whenever he sees a Christmas tree or any bright setting with shades of green and red in it! ๐Ÿ™‚

5. Horshee and Dog – He knows Dog quite well andย  Horse is everything that has four legs and not dog! Even elephant is a horshee for him right now.

6. Washsh – The moment there is some cereal or food onย  his hand or cheek, he would immediately want to wash up, also he thinks once I wash his face, his food time is done! ๐Ÿ™‚ so tries to take that shortcut at times to avoid food…. also he takes tissue from us when his tshirt gets wet and tries to wipe off the wetness!!

7. Stickerr – He loves the stickers he gets at the Drs office and says stickerr over and over till we come home. He holds on to it dearly!

Apart from all this he does talk a lot, but just that we have not figured them out yet!! ๐Ÿ™‚

A also watches Toy story, all the three parts and the best is his reaction to the movie scenes. When the mean dog goes after Woody or Buzz, he would close his mouth with his fingers and say Doggg… ๐Ÿ™‚ He has the cutest ever fear in his face for Buzz/Woody! For those who follow Tamil movies, his reaction is comparable to Saroja Devi’s ooohh reaction to MGR!

I have to mark 31st Dec 2011 in our lives, as that was the first day A and my DH fought! A was in a yet another naughty spree where he was throwing his toys all around theย  living room. My DH raised his voice against him and told him to cleanup, A was all worked up at the reaction and he was non-stop ‘talking’ back to V. He would talk few gibberish sentences, move away from V, may be to take a deep breath (:) and then come back to shout again.. It was soooooooooo cute that I just wanted to lift him and cuddle him. But dint want to break the moment too. V cudn’t help laughing and we all started laughing so hard that A looked at the three of us like, why wud he be part of this lunatic family!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Now onto S… Last week when we were traveling in our car, S got so bored with the GPS voice that she said she wished there was a mute setting in the GPS and before I could ask her how we would get the directions then, she said the GPS in the mute setting, should have captioning for what it says and that we should follow that to drive around! ๐Ÿ™‚

December was the month S looked forward so much – being her bday month… It did turn out to be awesome for her. She had her dream party at the Y and 14 of her 18 classmates attended her party and with all the holiday sales on, she got the best presents ever! ๐Ÿ™‚ She got a beautiful necklace with S as a rhinestone pendant from a boy in her class who apparently according to her, has a crush on her! OMG was my reaction though I didnt show it out. I did not know of the word Crush till I was 17 years old, of course I did know the feeling but dint know the word for it! ๐Ÿ™‚ And here my daughter loosely uses it at 7! There is already a generation gap….

The December agenda in her class at school was discussion of holiday traditions. When the teacher has initiated a discussion on Christmas, S had told her that she doesn’t celebrate the holiday and when questioned, had gone on to explain how Diwali is the most important festival for Hindus et al! She has also offered to her teacher that she can call me to come to the class and explain to everyone. Promptly her teacher mailed me about her idea and asked if I can present to the kids some information about Diwali.ย  Just the earlier week, I had substituted for her SS teacher at the Indian school she attends on Saturday. It was a surprise for her to see me at the class that day and she was thrilled to have me there and was beaming all through the class. Her hands shot up for every question and was disappointed I dint pick her up every time! Even after the class, she was telling her friends that it was her mom who was there and she was later asking me if I can do that often! So when she sensed another opportunity at her regular school she had volunteered my services!

Anyway the long story short, with my dear friend G’s help I had a kids-friendly presentation and it was an instant hit at the class. S was again super thrilled and we were both dressed in our ethnic wear at school. Her teacher appreciated S that she was so bold and did not feel shy to be different when they were discussing Christmas and she was asking me how I taught her to be like that. She said most kids wouldn’t want to be different so would just nod for everything. She said S was almost proud when she spoke about Diwali! I was happy hearing that but was thinking, “Lady, you call that pride, but knowing my daughter, it is more like Arrogance! ” ๐Ÿ™‚ Anyway jokes apart, I was indeed proud that she was feeling confident enough to tell a diverse crowd about her background!

It is such a blessing to watch the duo grow up and I am enjoying every moment of this!! More to come soon… I still haven’t talked about S’s party and her special month! ๐Ÿ™‚

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Fun and Frolic with A!!

Aโ€™s vocabulary has zoomed from just oohs and aahs to intelligible words in just a span of a week! I had this little toddler who was adept at using his sign language to express himself. He was such an expert at it that you will not even realize he is not using his words!!!ย  Now when I hear this sudden words from him,it is like I donโ€™t even know who is talking!

It is funny and of course quite predictable considering these day’s need for survival for kids at daycare that his first words were


Mo and

Go away.

The moment you try to take even his jacket off when he is back from daycare he would shout, MINE, and would refuse to part it away! Same goes for any of his belongings!! You offer him food, the standard response is a vehement Mo with a head shake to support it. As one would have guessed, Mo is No in his language! How much ever we correct him, he still says Mo to even our corrections and sticks to his ‘Mo’. I have to wait and see if he is actually going to use M for all the N words..ย  When I used to be a toddler, my mom said I used to substitute Ka for Va. May be in just this thing, hez taking after me for the mazhalai! ๐Ÿ™‚ And he says ‘Go away’ so cutely when he decides it is time to move away from that place. It is not aimed at us, it is like ‘lets go away’ kind to move from one room to another! When we are all set to call it a day and end up in the bed, he would say ‘go away’ and try to climb down the bed!

A also got this sudden enlightenment about all the Disney characters around him, especially the CARSH, BUZZZZ and POO.. I dont think he realized he had a Toy Story blanket till recently, now he cant let go of it, he goes around the house lugging it along! He points to Woody and Buzz and calls them by the same name Buzzzz… He is equally fascinated by Lightning McQueen and even more by Mater, both go by the same name CARSHH for him. We knew about his interest in Disney CARS only when we went boots shopping for him. He flatly refused to cooperate getting into a trial boots, but the moment V picked up a CARS character boots, he started meditating CARSHH and was more than happy to try them out and we were not able to take it off him even for the billing! He then decided to wear his heavy snow boots even for pleasant days, the teachers had to force the boots off him at daycare. So we went shoe shopping again to find him a Buzz Woody shoe that again had his sudden liking. Now he is happy to wear that all day and on colder days, we are planning to show him the CARSH boots.. ๐Ÿ™‚ The day after we got him the toy story shoe, he got up in the morning, went in search of the shoe first thing and was contentedly moving round with the box in his hand! How easy he gets attached to stuff!! And this reach the Disney characters have on toddlers, it is amazing. Only now S is out of all her Disney idols and has moved on to real rock stars, which again is not quite right.. I quite bear to see her in a JB or a SG night suit.. ๐Ÿ™‚ Now the Disney character promoters have A to thank for making us spend our money over the Disney stuff for few more years to come!

A’s other favorites are ‘SHTOP’, ‘SIT’ and ‘TATA’. He also says ‘SHEESE’ for Cottage cheese and wants to begin his day with cottage cheese! ๐Ÿ™‚ He starts and ends every meal with cottage cheese. He also says ‘THEETHAA’ for water and when he doesnt drink it, he uses the water he gets to keep his bath toys afloat in any container of his choice. ๐Ÿ™‚ When you are home, you can never be too careful when handling his toys! Anything can be his container and you might wet the carpet if you are not careful!

The bed time ritual has also underwent some changes; once he decides to call it a day he would not stop nudging me till I take him to the bed, all the while telling good night to V and S pointing his hand at his head. Incase he forgets that, I would ask him to go back to the living room to say good night and I would hear him shout AAAAAH in the living room to take everyone’s attention and point good night to all at the same time and he would rush back to the bed. How can I miss the most important part?? Even before he settles himself, he would tirelessly lug all his CARSH into the bed, arrange them next to his pillow, get his CARSH blankie and only then he would be ready to sleep. During weekends, we would bring his Toy Story blankie from his daycare, so weekend ritual would include getting that blankie as well. This little one will be bundled with two blankies!! ๐Ÿ™‚

A has always been fascinated by anything on wheels, but lately his excitement reaches peaks when he sees cars and he plays for hours together just with them! I guess boys will be boys and girls, girls! Somehome my kids have compartamentalized both their interests and if I draw a Venn diagram for their interests it would only be two separate circles! I remember getting S, cars when she was little and at the end V and I would end up playing with them and she just ignored them totally! Same with the Thomas train tracks we got her, may be we should have saved them all for A!

Apart from Cars and Toystory characters, Winnie the Pooh fascinate A. He shouts Poooo when he sees Pooh. He loves watching Pooh cartoons any time of the day. He also seems to prefer rock bands already! He loves Wiggles, the children band. We even haveย the Wiggles audios saved in CDs, to play them during our day trips to engage him. He dances so cutely and repeats any action the song would expect of the kids. I thought he was a little early for Wiggles, but apparently he doesnt think so! Just the Wiggles VCD cover excites him, he even attempts to sing the Laaas and Aaahs in few songs!

It is such a joy to watch him grow and he adds twinkle and sparkle to our lives!!! Cant wait to see what all he has in store for us!

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Scene 1 : S very seriously told A the other day that he really has to learn all about ROMANCE.. The capitalization is for the stress she gave to the word! They both were watching a Tom n Jerry show where Tom fancies a she-cat and Jerry sabotages their date! I was about to ask her what she actually knew about it, but stopped myself as I wasn’t sure I was ready for the answer! ๐Ÿ™‚

Scene 2: A and I were waiting for S’s school bus outside our apartment. S comes in and A is all super-excited just seeing the bus and ta-da, she rushes to him and gives him a big bear hug and kisses him in both the cheeks. A beams at me with joy, unsure of how to react to this sudden expression of affection from S! Usually it is A who dotes on S and she hardly pays attention to him! Looks like that day S read a story at school about a mean sister and how she taunts her baby brother, so it had struck her that may be she was being a litttle bit mean to A, hence the special attention. Of course, it goes without saying that she forgot that story part from the next day.. It was just a singular moment of truth for her!!

Scene 3: A runs after a boy in our apartment quite innocently and S shouts after him, “A, you are not supposed to like boys, you have to run after girls! Remember that!”ย  Quite an embarrassing moment, as there were quite a number of people around! Anyway S at least for now thinks heterosexuality is the way to go! SO good for me.. ๐Ÿ™‚

Scene 4: I am in the kitchen (as always :() and I hear A laughing aloud!! I run to him and there he is holding a book upside down and finding the characters hilarious! May be becoz they were upside down, God only knows, but of late he goes over his books on his own and laughs at certain pages quite knowingly!! It is REALLY a fun sight to behold… He is growing up to be a very happy and contended child, very much like his sister.

Scene 5: S sometimes fixes her own breakfast. She was looking for butter one day in the fridge and found out much to her dismay that V has kept the butter in the freezer by mistake! She gave us both a warning about not to repeat this again, and still was not convinced that we would remember that. She wrote on bright fluorescent post-its and stuck on the fridge. Her message was”

Dear Mommy and Daddy, The butter goes in the fridge! NOT THE FREEZER!!! From: S

And she also had a Post-it on the freezer door that said “See Notes Please” and an arrow mark pointing down to her post-it. As a matter of adding redundancy to prevent the mistake, she had another post-it next to the Fridge door! ๐Ÿ™‚

Here is the picture of her post-its.. Isn’t she funny?

Scene 6: S asks this question to us out of the blue. “Did you guys give birth to me, so you will always have someone to scold?” She was so serious that we just couldn’t dismiss that remark.ย  Granted we have been a little demanding once her school began, and mostly it had to do with keeping her things organized and be a little more careful around A and not litter stuff that A should not be playing with. Looks like she has really taken all that to heart and has thought it over and cornered us with that question. After an hour long discussion, she was kind of ok, still we are going to be watching for early signs before she bursts out again! It is really tough to be tough with her! ๐Ÿ™‚

Scene 7: S thinks making spelling mistakes is alright as the rules are very stupid according to her. Why would you have a silent letter when you are not going to pronounce the letter. And how come two exact same spellings be pronounced in two different ways based on the context. She says if someone has made these silly rules, she can make her own rules too! These days kids live by their own rules, I mean they just dont take anything for granted and need explanations! Talking of rules, she has also prepared her own set of Math rules! ๐Ÿ™‚ All sorts of cheat codes already like adding a 9 to a single digit number is reduce the number by 1 and add 10. It was quite an interesting read, the way her mind worked. Nothing defies logic, still it was her own logic and inference.. In the same context, one homework paper from school had a list of single digit additions and at the end there was a space to explain the reasoning for the answer to at least one of the problems in the list. S’s answer in the note was “I dont know, I just knew the answer.” See this.. ๐Ÿ™‚ She has been doing single digit additions already in her last school may be she was bored. I usually never correct her home work as a principle. If she makes a mistake, it is up to the teacher to correct her and believe me kids react better to the teacher’s comments than the mother’s!

Scene 8:The moment our car pulls into our parking lot, A starts crying. He hates to get back home, he would rather keep going someplace or the other rather than returning! Even when we just lift him and bring him in, he flatly would refuse to take his coat and shoes off, thinking there would still be a chance of going out as long he doesn’t change! It is getting to be too much trouble everyday after he is back from the daycare. We have to perform all kinds of theatrics to get him to remove them! This, from a boy who refused to sit on the car seat and used to cry even when we were traveling for an hour day trip, what can I say!! With kids, change is the only constant phenomenon!

Scene 9: A has discovered the world of communication by actions! He is mastering the ability to communicate perfectly without using a single word, with just actions and prompting sounds that tell us if we have understood him or not. He would take us by holding our finger to wherever the place of action is and then point to what he wants and then do an action, like drink to tell us what he wants. If we pick up the wrong item, he would vehemently shake his head from side to side and hit once on his head to highlight how stupid we are not understanding him! ๐Ÿ™‚ย  If we do pick up the right item, he would clap his hands to appreciate our good job! ๐Ÿ™‚ย  Whenever he does a good job, we would clap and encourage him and also say Good job, now he uses the same tactic with us without actually saying ‘Good job’! ๐Ÿ™‚ Hez such a funny little fellow!

Scene 10: A does this scrunched-up nose routine when he is up to some mischief! When we are all watching some show on the TV quite seriously, he would just march in and switch off the TV main button and turn to us and would scrunch-up his nose and his eyes would glitter with the joy ofย  doing something worthwhile grabbing our attention! And the moment we start saying Bad Job A, he would get sober and the second he hears No as part of any phrase, No A, or No way, or Not a good job, he would crack up and close his eyes with his little hands and fake cry would start! I am smiling even as I am writing this.. It would be so funny to watch him that we would crack up and laugh, then he would immediately stop the cry and flash his million-dollar smile at us and run to us! Needless to add, S will be like, ‘You guys are never tough on him..” ๐Ÿ™‚

I guess I am really going overboard with all this stuff.. There seems to be so much to add but I guess they can wait for another post!

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A has started daycare recently and has been having really sad days. Of course sometimes it is difficult to understand who is more sad, him or me. We have been together from the day he was born or rather from the day he started growing inside me, and have never been away from each other for more than 3 hrs! So it is just IMPOSSIBLE for me to get used to not having him around. I have these panic attacks suddenly that I have ignored him and he is up to some mischief in the other room or worse hurt himself. I can just not explain that sudden fear that rises in me and after a moment’s realization, subsides. I end up crying for no reason during the day, I know really stupid of me to behave such, knowing this is just a passing phase and that both of us will settle into this routine as well… Anyway I just wanted to recap the first week of A’s daycare experience.

The first day he had no idea what he was getting into, he was busy exploring the toys in the toddler room. We caught him quite unawares when we waved bye and left the room. I could hear his screams even down the hallway. He refused to move away from the door and kept screaming, arching his back and falling down in the floor.. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I was feeling TERRIBLE and I stayed in the hallway with my book. Since they had no way of quieting him down, they advanced their outside play time and took A outside with the other kids into the play area. That brought a change in his attitude! He stopped crying and started looking at the kids playing swings et al. But he refused to leave the teacher’s finger. I was watching him from outside and it broke my heart to see A holding on to a total stranger, he thought of all the people there, since I had spoken to that teacher for a while that morning, she was the closest he had as a kin.. He always waits to see us accept strangers before he accepts them. When some friends come home for the first time, he would watch S and us talk to them and if S seems to be fine with them, then they are fine for him as well. In the absence of S, he will watch our reaction to the new people. So his acceptance pretty much is decided on how we behave with the new guys.. I guess this will be his route till he grows up to have his own opinions! ๐Ÿ™‚ The three hours I waited that first day seemed the longest to me, and I just couldn’t gather myself to read a single page ofย  Shogun. I kept repeating prayers for his sake. When the teachers or the Center directors came to me to update me about him, they found me in tears and were all so empathetic and in fact a couple of them hugged me, to comfort.. ๐Ÿ™‚ Looking back it does seem like quite a drama but that’s how the day unfolded. When I went to pick him up, he pouted his lips and came to me with this HUGE tears in his eyes. It was sooo sad.. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

The second day was no better than the first, and in fact turned out to be worse because the one teacher he bonded with the earlier day was off from work and it was a rainy day and so there can be no outside play.ย  But the third day was much better and he had actually even tasted his lunch!! ๐Ÿ™‚ He did not cry when I picked him up in the afternoon, so that was good!!ย  Thursday again he was kind of fine but resorted to violent ways!! Looks like he kept taking his shoes off and was throwing them at his teachers! There was a “Whoaa”ย  reaction from his teachers who are used to quite docile kids..ย  At last they removed his shoes and kept them in his cubby to prevent him from teaching the act to other kids! ๐Ÿ™‚ He had also vehemently refused to participate in the group time, he was running around while all kids sat down to music and story time. Friday was a better day according to his teachers, as he did not do anything violent in the class! Also he had ‘kind of’ participated in the group time! Looks like he did sit in a chair during the group time just that he turned the chair away from the kids and sat!! I think it was his way of still protesting the change!

All through the week he hardly ate any lunch there, so I would bring him home and feed him lunch. Poor guy, he refused to take even his afternoon nap, fearing I may take him back to the daycare. He would be real clingy to me till S and my hubby came home. We decided to do full days from this week to get him to eat food there.. This week has been kind of good in the sense that he does get ready in the morning, knowing he is going to daycare. Since he just adores S and wants to do all that she does, he likes to get ready when she gets ready for school and go out with her to wait for S’s school bus. Only after she leaves in her bus, his face would show a slight reaction to the next step, getting into the car to go to his daycare.. He would start resisting slowly but not much, he would again cry when we get out in the parking lot of the day care! Even while he is crying, he would still keep walking to his class!!! Over there he would take me around the class and show his kitchen area, and the toys he plays with, but mind you, he would still be crying!! ๐Ÿ™‚ At least now he knows he cant really avoid this and kind of accepts with grace, still wants to play games with my mind by crying!! Once I am back home, I call the daycare to find out how he is doing, they invariably say, oh he stopped crying almost right after you left!!

Of course I am waiting for the day when he would march into the class smiling!! Wishful thinking but am sure A would give me that pretty soon!!

Loveย  you lots little handsome A!! Sorry for leaving you there, but you can turn this around by having fun there!!

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My husband has been getting some strange calls in his mobile these days from little ones who would hang up with either “Never mind” or “Later then”. He asked me if S has been giving his numbers out to her new friends, I had confidently told him I have only writing our home number and address for her friends in labels. I did not think she would have remembered my hubby’s mobile number. But looks like she has been happily writing out his number to all her new ‘best friends’ at school and her friends have reported that her dad has a weird(?!!) voice that puts them off from asking for her. So at last yesterday she ended up telling this so he will hand over the phone to her this weekend if he receives calls from her friends. That’s when we clarified to her that she has to only give our home number and also inform us when she shares her number. Today when she returned from school, she was horrified to see her room all messed up by A and said to me, her room cannot be in that state when her friends were coming over. Even then I did not really notice what she was saying, she loves to have people over so thought like all days she imagines her friends would come over without an invitation from me to their parents. I wasย  just waiting for at least a month in school to pass, to see who still stays in her friend’s list and then plan some event at home. But looks like she had other plans; She had asked two of her friends to positively come over and also promised them dinner at a restaurant. She has given them the home numbers today after our advice yesterday.

I was busy watching Airtel Super Singer and skipped even the usual grocery shopping done on Fridays! At 6.00 in the evening, I get a call in our land line from one of her friends asking me to repeat our address for her mom. I was so shocked and just had to cover up for S. The mom on the phone said her daughter was creating a ruckus at home about visiting us and wanted to know our address so she can bring her kid over. She said they were already in the car, so my hubby and I had less than 10 mins to clean at least the living room to a presentable state. S coolly said, “I did tell you but you guys weren’t listening..” In few minutes another mom called me and got the address but also added that they had other plans tonight and so they could not come over for S’s party! I am sure she would have noted the relief in my voice, and said her daughter does the same thing and the second graders think they are now old enough to hang out in each others houses on their own accord and we need to get used to such surprises thrown at us. ๐Ÿ™‚

In 10 mins, the friend of S came with her mom and it was all drama for the first five mins when they hugged each other et al, as though meeting after ages! Her mom was very nice and said she has another older daughter and she is used to all this drama. I had nothing to offer her too, was feeling quite sheepish, but she made it easier saying she would leave and come back in 2 hrs to pick her daughter up. The best part was when S’ friend H asked us about the restaurant we may go for dinner, then her mom stepped in and said that can wait for another day. I came clean with her mom about how all this was a surprise to us, she said everyday her daughter also came home with plans about who would visit or not, but surely S is quite a social butterfly because her daughter insisted she had to visit S today or her relationship will be through with S! We were just laughing about all this. In fact this Monday morning, S told us that she and her friend H have decided to ditch school that day and then hangout at our place…ย  These kids sure do spend some good time planning out all this..ย  But anyway today was a TOTAL knockout to me and my hubby and we decided we better be prepared for many such surprises to come.

Thankfully there were few popcorn packets available at home and few other goodies too. First they went to a park nearby with my husband, played for a long time then came home for a cup of hot chocolate and then the duo watched Barbie’s Swan Lake munching on popcorns and cheese balls. For the theater effect, they wanted all the lights in the living room switched off and they were giggling through the movie! Somehow we pulled out an OK playdate I guess! We will be better prepared the next time as long as S gives us enough notice. We have to have a talk with her tomorrow about certain guidelines I guess!!! Today she was so elated it seemed unfair to break that elation and chide her.. So the task is off till tomorrow!!

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I read a short story by Mary Gordon titled Separation and that triggered volumes of thoughts.. The story is about a single mom and her son aged 5 and the unique relationship they share. It portrays beautifully the emotions running in the minds of the duo; the mother who doesn’t want to let go of her son and the son who though wants to be with other kids, still understands his mom perfectly and tries to ruin his every newย  friendship to make his mom happy. Whenever the duo gets too much criticism, they just end up moving to another US state and start all over again there.

I believe letting go of kids is quite difficult and is the root cause of many relationship issues. I read this quote in a friend’s wall(FB), the first half of the life is ruined by parents and the other half by children. How true that is. The first half of life, our parents control us and ‘ruin’ our lives and in the second half, we become the parents exercising control over our kids and when our kids respond the same way we did to our parents, we end up being ‘ruined’ by children! ๐Ÿ™‚ Anyway this is my interpretation and as always what goes around comes around right!

The parents think they OWN the kids because they made them, yeah that is right but does that give the parents ultimate authority all through the kid’s life? If God owned up all his creations in a similar fashion where would that leave all of us! Jokesย  apart, most parents hover over their kids even when the ‘kids’ are in their adulthood.. The parents think their kid is old enough to get married but not old enough to manage their affairs! ๐Ÿ™‚ How can that be fair? There is no isolation between in-laws and parents here. One’s parent is another’s in-law right! So no matter who, the sense of control they would like to have in their ‘kid’ is impossible. My worst nightmare is turning out to be one myself! My hubby and I have a pact that if either one shows the symptoms, the other one should snap that person out of it! ๐Ÿ™‚ And I am talking not about the later stage, even now as parents, we have admitted to ourselves that we wont exercise much control over S and A. In fact we were laughed at, when we refused to switch S to another daycare closer to our home, citing the reason that the switch did not appeal to her.S was 18 months then. We wanted to respect her feelings and waited for another 6 months and then shifter her. Even at that age, we did not want to force our decision on her.

Again, letting go starts right from the day your kid starts kindergarten, we don’t believe our kid is ready to face the world yet, but most of us are surprised at how easily they fit into their new routine. Also the quality time as parents perceive to be spent with kids are no longer FUN for the kids. They would rather spend their time with kids their age. Parents are justย  to provide for and be available in case ofย  temper tantrums.I remember finding that fact a little difficult to digest when S was at that stage! But looked at that as a positive and resumed my other interests!

Later as they move from childhood to pre-teens, it would be difficult to let go of the kids to explore and figure out the whole wide world themselves. It will be hard to remain poker faced when you know your kid is lying to you about group study, after all we had our share of group studies right! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Of course the most difficult stage is to try saving the kids from heartbreaks!! As with every teen, the heartthrob will always be the unattainable, right? How can we not spot the blush in our kid’s face when they talk about that ‘close’ friend, showing the infatuation! We will try to discourage the kid and try to educate about being wrong or that they should wait a little longer to get involved! But we obviously know that hormones wont help them to get older without this funny butterfly feeling in the tummy when interacting with an attractive opposite gender ‘pal’!! ๐Ÿ™‚ There we try to master alienating our own kid and that just gets worse in the later days…

Now with career choice, and laterย  better-half choice, parents have this lost fight with the kids about being clairvoyant, knowingย  what is best for them and question them about how the kids can be blind to thoseย  facts. As a parent,I do agree it will be hard to let go of the kids and let them make their choices. But only consolation to the parents should be how can we handle it if we end up screwing their career or personal life by choosing the wrong path or the wrong life partner! Instead of living with the guilt about wrong choices, it is better to let the kids decide for themselves and then magnanimously support them when they end up getting hurt! That would be the way to go..

Anyway parenting is a very evolving practice unique to every household in fact unique to every child you may have and we need to figure out the approach that works best! My only point is as we tend to evolve correct parenting techniques, we should always be equally aware of ‘letting go’ techniques too, to retain our dignity as parents!!

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Kids these days seem to know so much that even when they give excuses, they are not lame! The other day I took S for the July 4th Independence day fireworks. She was clearly scared when the lights were all out and the fireworks began. She did not want even me to know she was scared, so she asked me if I knew that there were actually ear drums in the ears and if they get exposed to too much noise, they would stop working and it would mean trouble. When I did not respond to her at all, being enthralled with the awesome display of fireworks, she literally shouted out “What Amma, do you want me to be deaf all my life? I am not even 7 yrs old and you want me to become deaf? It may be alright for you as you are old.” Then I told her if it were that bad, I would not have brought her out here. So I asked her to forget about the fear and enjoy.

Did that stop my darling? Nope!! She started blaming the Government for allowing all this noise and air pollution. ๐Ÿ™‚ She was all freaked out and said when she becomes part of the Government, she would put a stop to all this. Wow, that was a shock to me, I did not know she had plans of becoming part of the Government. When I asked her later about how she thought she can become part of Government, she looked at me with the most amusing look and asked “What? Have you not heard of elections? I am going to get elected to the office.” So she did know what she was talking about. About 10 mins later she found me in the kitchen and asked if I would vote for her when she it stands. ๐Ÿ™‚

S is attending summer school right now and is learning all about Ancient Rome and Ancient Egypt, it is like they are taking the kids through time. She is totally fascinated by all that she is learning and has been picking books from the library related to those topics. As she was reading through a kids book about Egypt, she was asking us about mummies and how different it is to wrap dead people into mummies from burning them off. I explained to her it is just the Egyptian way of preserving the dead, not wanting to venture into the topic of after-life! But hey she surprised me by asking, so by mummifying the body, there were preventing the circle of life? Whoaa.. that was surprising, though she has always been fascinated by what would happen when people die.ย  I did not know she could articulate her thought into the words ‘circle of life”.

S would always tell me how she used to watch me from heaven above, and how she decided on our wedding day that we should be her parents. She has this great imagination of how God Perumal fed her food and Muruga played hide and seek with her. She also thinks she chose A to be her brother when she met him at some God’s birthday party! All her rampant imagination and stories in heaven can make one big post by itself..

I think kids these days should slow down for their parents sake! I mean how much can you take a day..

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S is growing up so fast and I already feel like I am dealing with a teen! I know I sound so redundant. But what can I say when this is how I feel everyday when I deal with her. She surprises rather I should say bewilders us everyday with the new stuff she learns at school, and believe me it is not all academic! ๐Ÿ™‚ She told A this morning, “Hey, I totally dig you man!” .ย  And she said yesterday, “What the heck is all this ruckus about?” again to her baby brother! He loves that he has her attention now.. And I clearly see S using A as a person to whom she can use her new idioms and phrases she learns at school and master them as well! She also tried using the wrong “S” word a couple of times and my hubby told her that will not be acceptable at home; immediately she askedย  if it was acceptable when she is out with her friends..ย  Yeah, we have to be clear on the specific applicability of any rule we impose, she doesn’t want any room for ambiguity..ย  We keep advising her to use her inner voice when we are out, and she would try to keep her voice down, however when she found out she cant keep this on forever, she said she wanted to have a private talk with me! When I went to her room, she was like “Amma, I only have one voice, I don’t have a separate inner and outer voice. So please try to live with this one voice. Tell this to appa also so he understands this.” I was speechless!

S was telling me the other day that she actually has a boy friend, but it is not like love-love boyfriend just a friend-friend boy friend! Before I could ask her any question, she was like “What, can I not like a person?” What do you answer to that? I guess when we put her in the summer school we did not realize we had signed her up on an accelerated learning course to become an All-American-Gal!

The other day S and I were walking from my bank to meet my hubby at another bank where he had some business. As we were walking down, it so happened my hubby’s work had already got over and he was coming to pick us up. He saw us from the car from the other side of the road and turned around to pick us up. As S and I were waiting for the car to reach us, S asked me how did appa see you? Now you would understand why I had to totally explain the context in which the question was asked. I told her he should have spotted us from the car, of course.ย  Then she was like, Oh amma I want to know where appa saw you first and how did he think you were the right girl for him. I was kind of unprepared, so just got out with the facts. We were working in the same company and hence met. She started her stream of Qs, “So you just met and were friends and then started liking each other like love? and how come your parents knew about this? Did appa tell his parents and you yours? How did you know he is the right person?”ย  My hubby rescued me by picking us up just then, anyway i ended up telling our life’s story to her! ๐Ÿ™‚ I did anticipate I had to answer such questions at some point, but did not think it would be this early!! Apparently, she has been intrigued by a discussion at her summer school and subsequent reading of a Calvin & Hobbes cartoon, where Hobbes sings the song,

“First comes love;

then comes marriage;

then comes baby,

in a baby carriage!”

Now she sings this song all the time. I hope she gets over this song and moves over!! A starts dancing to S’s song as well! It is funny to watch them both..


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I believe my daughter is a gift from heaven above!! Truly she is.. I just got off the phone from her summer school teacher and heard that she has already made friends at the school and is happily settled! I may seem to be a doting mother who is surprised when her 6 year old settles in summer school on her first day.. What is the big deal eh.. But consider the following facts, then what I feel may seem justified..

a. This is her first day at any setting close to school in the new country.

b.And it is only 50 days since she moved to this place from her cozy home back in Chennai where she lived with her doting grandparents.

c. And she had so many ‘best’ friends back home who miss her and she calls them almost daily to keep them happy!! Big girl eh!!

d. And she has had no exposure to the American kids yet, as her mom has been confining her to the home, as the mom is busy settling down. No park outings et al..

So what do you think? I can sing the glory of my daughter S right! ๐Ÿ™‚

My daughter S has always been our strong support whenever we topple our lives in many ways!

Right from her infant stage, she was moved between two grandparent’s homes to suit the life of her working mom and her busy schedules. She would beam at the maternal grand mom after being with paternal grand mom for 7 days as if she has been with her all the time!! she would transition so well to her naughty ways, at this grand parents home – like reaching out to the maid there, responding to the watch man uncle’s playful ways!! Then the very next day she would end up staying with paternal grand mom and she would be JUST fine!! That was the way of my little girl even when she hadn’t turned one.. She was pampered by my three sisters, my sister-in-law and the grandparents sooo much and she enjoyed every moment of her limelight…

And was her mom happy to let her be just like that? No! She had to take her away from all the familiar setting and bring her to the US of A. First S’s dad disappeared one fine day at a huge place(airport) one minute he was there and the next gone!! Somehow the little darling S remembered the place where she lost her dad, so the next time around when her mom took her there, she did not want to move to anyone beyond her mom and started waving Bye frantically to her doting thathas and pattis, chithis and athai! She was so happy to see her dad at the US airport after 45 days and she acted as though he was always there. And not one day she asked for her doting grandparents or aunts. What could the parents have done if she was unhappy and cranky missing the folks back home? She was blissfully happy with just her parents. She made life so much easier for her parents by being the best kid at the daycare as well. Her daycare teacher once said a prayer after the parent-teacher one on one meeting. Her prayer was “Please God, give S’s parents the right attitude to identify the potential of their daughter S. She may even be the President of India.” (I am not mincing words here. The prayer just stunned us then and made us speechlessย  :))

Later few years down, the little one’s parents decide to move back to India and again guess who was their mascot? S again.. She was so amazing and helped her parents transition into the old ways again! She not once asked for the luxuries she was exposed to, in the US of A. She loved going around in autos and trains and what not, even on her first day to the school, she went alone and managed to enjoy there still not knowing to utter a word in Tamil though she could follow the language. All it took was 10 days for her to learn the language and settle down in the school. She was the darling to all her teachers the three years she spent at the school and every open day was like all Appreciations for her at the school..

You take her on any pleasure trip/vacation, even at 10.30 in the night when you are ready to call it a day, she wouldnt be ready!! Thatz how much of a sport she is! She toured the Europe non-stop for 10 days with her parents and her parents did not for a moment regret bringing a 3.5 year old with them!

Then after 3 yrs in India and after the addition of a baby brother to the family, S’s parents decide to come back to the US and there again it is S who breezes through the sea change! Her mom worried if she will be able to follow accents and would that put her down, but she was like so cool about the change.ย  Her first question in the cab from the airport to the hotel was about the driving side in the cab. Why is the driver sitting in the wrong side of the car? She was that observant of the little things that had changed and was welcoming the change. Every home we checked out for moving in, she would find in there, a perfect spot for her Disney camp and when we later tell her that home was not the one we would be moving into, she wouldnt complain and ask when we are going to check out a new place.

We also took her to school tours to find the right school for her and in one particular school, after about half of the tour, she removed the Visitor sticker from her dress and said she was already part of the school and no longer a visitor! That zapped us and the Principal of the school and needless to say we got her enrolled into the school into second grade though she is eligible only for first grade per her age! ๐Ÿ™‚

I truly believe she is our family’s lucky mascot and a precious darling at that!! S, We love you more that words can express!!


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