The Super woman of my life…

I read in a book recently that the worst fear of any woman in her middle age is to hear someone say that she is turning out to be JUST like her mother.. I also heard the same statement in another movie and this just set me thinking if that’s applicable to me. If someone were to say that to me, that would be the GREATEST compliment I would ever receive. I am born to this incredibly amazing individual who has touched many lives and is still doing everyday! First of all, she makes these beautiful babies (including me.. ;)) , raises them so well and in the process, inculcates common sense and compassion in the kids and even in the friends of the kids. She is as selfless a person in a familial life can get and has never taught a wrong value to the four of us, her daughters. And she did all this with no help from baby center or any books. She had had all her babies before the age I was even married! And here I was at my marriage thinking I became committed a little too early and years before at the same age, my mom had 4 daughters already! I can just not fathom how scared she would have been holding me, her first-born when she was just 20 yrs old! 🙂 i mean it was quite common in those days still, the mental strength she had moving away from her village to the city and from being a single totally adored daughter to being the 5th daughter-in-law in a huge joint family. She used to recount her early days that it took her a while to know everyone’s name and relationship in the family!!

When she learnt she was expecting my twin sisters in a scan that changed her life drastically, she had tears in her eyes seeing them in the scan. The scan people thought those were the first kids of the young lady lying there, when she said she already had two daughters at home, as expected, there was this loud sad sigh from the technicians. From then on, everywhere she turned, she was only getting sad stares and how she ever could raise and provide for 4 daughters with a single income was everyone’s concern! Then my parents had consciously decided that never would they let anyone’s reaction affect them and it was their duty to raise us and it cannot be anyone’s worry. They also decided not to react to the empathy and never give in or break down, no matter what they hear from others. That said, I don’t remember a single instance in all my life, when my parents worried over us – the fact about having all daughters. Of course we did not spare them of the typical worries any teenager or head strong children would give! We gave them our share of troubles and they did have to worry about that, it was just that any function we would attend, we would attract all the attention – the young parents with four daughters and they would just march in with their heads high and were never bored to repeat to people they were really not worried about our future! 🙂

I have no idea how she provided for us with none of us ever thinking we were deprived of anything. There were not many hand-me-downs for my sisters as well. She was an excellent planner and had tremendous positive energy that permeated our whole household and no problems were ever too big for us to manage. I remember the super busy mornings when she gets breakfast and lunch fixed for all the four of us going to school and also simultaneously get us all ready. When it is time for our school van to pick us up a street away, she would be the first one to march out of our home with our bags calling for us – me and my first sis. 🙂 We would then follow her and would be right in time for the van always. Now looking back, I cant believe how she kept the time with no calls to the van attender’s mobile, whereas I always used to check with S’s van attender before coming out of the home to wait for her school van! 🙂 After sending us off, she would take my youngest twin sisters to the local school. All four of us never missed a competition at school, especially the fancy dress competition or any other activity requiring parent-involvement, she always had time for all of us. We never felt deprived of her attention or time.

She was very particular on our extra-curricular activities as well! Both me and my first sis, were quite regular to music classes till one day a mosquito entered my mouth during an Alapanai and that stopped me from going anymore.. Even at that young age, I remember skipping music class with another friend of mind and visiting a neighboring woods. As our luck turned out, we were caught the same day when my sister reported to my mom of my absence in the class and also the music teacher’s family person met us at the woods and brought us back home. I still remember how my mad my friend’s parents were and remember her cries after the beating she received; but my mom was cool as a cucumber and just told me about all the things that could have gone wrong that day and that scared me more than anything. She made me promise I would never do that again. It is not that she was never mad with us, but she always knew at every situation what kind of her reaction would have the maximum effect on us! She also signed me up for a Hindi tuition 12 miles away from my home! After school, for two days in a week I used to take public transportation up and down from Porur to Triplicane, for 1.5 hours to attend a half hour class. She wanted what was best for us, even if it meant trouble for her and for us. She was bold and wanted nothing less than that from us; I cant imagine sending S for a class that far away, however important that could have been.

Growing up, I had no trouble sharing any of my secrets with her and she would never judge me or my friends even after knowing what we have been upto! 🙂  And now that all our sisters are in our own families, she has turned out to be a wonderful in-law as well to our husbands and she never questions our decisions and has 0% interference in our lives. That is such a rare quality right, even if we ask her for advice, she would stop with just that and not try to influence us at all. That has made her the special MIL to our spouses! Anyway there is no way I can talk about her in just one post! This is like less than 1% of all the wonderful memories I would like to share! May be I should write a separate book!! 🙂

This is the Super woman in my life who shaped my life and is still making me better, with many of her insights and I owe anything that is good in me to her. 🙂