Archive for July 18th, 2011

I know I have only been blogging about S and not a word about A. It is not that am partial! To be frank I was indeed very apprehensive when I discovered A’s presence in my tummy, I wondered if I can love another child as much as I loved S. Till that moment S had an all-pervading presence in my life. A very good friend of mine who had two kids then, answered my question about sharing love in a very beautiful manner. She said with each pregnancy the mother’s heart just doubles, to accommodate the new child.. It became sooo true… The moment I set my eyes upon A, it was like a fresh motherhood all over again…

As special as it was when I first held S, it was no different holding A for the first time too. He invoked such wondrous feelings in me, that my heart just burst with happiness. The first time I saw S and A together in that hospital room is still so vivid to me and I will never forget the wonder in S’s eyes when she saw A and how even then on day one,  A seemed to sense S’s presence and turn to her.

It was quite funny that the first day S met A at the hospital, she wore a T shirt with the caption “Allergic to boys”. I did not note that till a friend of mine pointed that out in the first pictures of the duo I had shared!!

A was kind of the perfect baby any mom would love to have. He was a small baby mostly lost in meditative states, he even folded his legs when he was hardly two weeks, giving a Dhakshinamurthy posture!!  He gave me enough time to get adjusted to the ‘new mother’ condition. He was a lovely little bundle of joy sleeping most of the nights, without troubling me. But he was so good at it, I mean sleeping through the night, that we ended up having a lot of nursing issues! Apparently he loved me so much that he did not even want to trouble me by nursing!! But boy , that made me so sad. No one would believe a mother would be having nursing issues for the second kid. The initial months were so difficult that even in Chennai I ended up hiring lactation consultants, unheard of in Chennai!! But A and I battled through the tough times and now after he turned one,I introduce a bottle to him, he flatly refuses, giving me a look ” Don’t you remember how hard it was for you to make me forget this and now YOU are offering the same to me??” Same reaction to sippy cups too!! So A is the kind of baby who refuses to take milk in any form other than from me!! I don’t know how long this is going to continue though!! I am kind of leaning towards ‘baby-led-weaning’ this time around as I am a stay-at-home mom now..

A would have been the only baby at 13 months, to have had JUST solid foods all through the flight travel from Chennai to Minneapolis!! 🙂 I remember when attending my cousin’s wedding, the caterer came to me and said, “Thambikku paal venumna sollu ma, kondu varrennnu!” (Let me know if you need milk for the little one). After that guy left, my sis and I couldn’t stop laughing for a long time! This thambi is not just another little one who would gladly drink milk!

When A was in my tummy, I got advice from everyone about how I should make sure S doesn’t feel left out after A’s birth. So my standard response to that was I would only be concentrating on S, as for the first one year, all the baby would care was feeds from the mother, otherwise the baby would just grow up! I will make sure S accepts the little addition before concentrating on A. I am sure A kept hearing all that and wondering if I knew what was in store for me. So it turned out that he did take ALL my attention!!! A had two surgeries in the first year, one right when he was 45 days old and the next when he was 10 months old. It killed me to send him off with the nurse to the operation theater both times and Oh my, the waiting was horrible in its own way.The wait outside the theater would literally tear me apart and I would start breathing normally only when the nurse hands him over to me after the procedure; he would be wailing so loud, still that wailing sounded like Beethoven to me. I hope to God his suffering and surgeries for this birth are over and he lives a long and healthy life that he deserves!

As A is growing, it is evident how he just adores S and is fascinated by her. Even in his deep sleep, he would know the minute S is home from school. It is like the Mudhal Mariyathai movie : Sivaji – Radhika scene, he would open his eyes the moment S opens the front door. Though S excludes A in her playing, he would be around hoping she would change her mind! It would be heartbreaking to see him cry with huge baby tears when S in her sibling-hatred moment, would just close the door to her room, so he cannot enter and trouble her. In those instances, I would side A and force S to include him. Then I would end up hearing her complain how I have changed so much and how I prefer A over her..  🙂

Unlike S’s first year, I have been with A all his first year as I was working from home, and then quit that as well. So he thinks, I am an extension of him or the other way around. He needs to see me the moment he gets up, if not, all the hell would break lose. However much he would accept others, I need to be around in his vicinity all the time. He is turning out to be a typical ‘Amma-kondu’. I hope he gets over this, once he starts daycare.

He would usually rush to my lap the moment S comes to me, as if establishing his claim. He cannot even accept my DH sitting next to me in the couch, he HAS to come and sit between us, leaning on me!!! The other day, instead of S leaning on me as usual, I went to her side and was cuddling up to her. A found this very amusing and did not know how to respond!! He wore such a funny expression and I immediately asked my DH to capture it for me in a picture.

A seems to have completed our family and I am not even able to recollect how it was when it was just the three of us. My DH V is waiting for him to grow up so he can share all his sports passion with him. S has clearly expressed her total disinterest in the UN-girly sports et al;  So it is going to be interesting watching A grow up and the duo get hooked up to sports!

P.S : I said A ‘seems’ to have completed our family because this motherhood feels so nice, that I wouldn’t mind undergoing this all over again.. Now that I know the heart expands, I can love another little one as much as I love S and A… 🙂 I am sure my DH would be terrorized by such a thought, but strangely it does appeal to me!! 😉

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